I'm reading a new Cary Grant book by Marc Eliot that is taking over my rather empty life and it's so much fun except when I have to turn away from the book and my joy runs crashing into paranoia and imagined contempt and another emptiness. But it's such a fun book, filled with Randy Scott and Mae West. I guess one of these days I'll have to start being open and honest and get my dreams kicked out of me completely and then I can be more comfortable and functional in society. Then people can take me seriously. But I like living in the realm of animals, children and movie stars. Spider is perfect. He just wants attention and it's hard to see myself through his eyes.